YOUR BRAINS NATURALLY REMEMBER STORIES! TRY A ‘STORY IDEA’ AND USE STORIES TO INSPIRE CHILDREN TO LOVE FAMILY HISTORY!

Choose an ancestor that you want to learn more about. Using ancestry.com, familysearch.org, billionsgraves.com, newspapers.com and any other search website, find as many documents as you can for your ancestor. Documents such as birth, marriage and death certificates, military records, obituaries, newspaper articles, etc. all have different information that can be used to learn about your ancestor. Once you have learned as much as you can, write the story of their life and share it with family members or upload it to familysearch.org!

Researching on family history websites may aid in finding stories. Looking through census’ and other documents on familysearch.org or ancestry.com, can help you piece the stories of individual ancestors together. Newspaper collection websites, such as Genealogy Bank, are great resources as well. You may find that one of your ancestors was in a newspaper or you may find an obituary that will most likely have information about his or her life and character traits.

After you find family stories, the next step is compiling them. If you interviewed relatives, you may wonder what to do with the interview. You may decide to edit the interview transcript so it is easier for readers to digest or leave it word for word. Often during interviews there is a lot of jumping around so you may decide to arrange the stories in order of life events.

When compiling stories from research or interviews, remember who your audience is. Short stories are more digestible for children as well as adults. To increase the likelihood of stories being read, remember to have them available in a short format. If stories were recorded chronologically in a long format, keeping the original is important, but the stories can also be broken up so others can easily read them. The following are a few ideas of how to compile and organize stories that you have collected.

Organize them by individual.
Organize them by specific family.
Organize them by the value taught. A value organization system for stories is helpful when teaching children who have specific needs for insight on particular topics such as bravery, kindness, or loyalty. The value can be turned to at any moment, such as when a child exhibits a certain trait, is facing a challenge, or feels uncertain of what to do in a situation. There are other resources to turn to when teaching our children values, like the scriptures and children’s stories, so why not add family stories to our toolkits? These stories will show our children that they come from people who possessed admirable traits, had similar experiences, or struggled in similar ways.

Create a book. This can be as elaborate as commissioning a hard-bound book or it can be as simple as printing stories at home and stapling them together. Create a binder or folder (physical or online).

“Your family needs what you have.”

— Steve Rockwood, CEO of FamilySearch

By sharing the stories we know with our children and relatives they will benefit from what we have found and we can help ensure our ancestors aren’t forgotten. When children are struggling with something, imagine telling or reading them a story about their ancestor who had a similar challenge and overcame it or had a similar quality to them. Doing this can give them a sense of belonging and being part of something greater than themselves. Stories can be used to help children when they are going through difficult times or trying to figure out how to handle situations they face. Ancestors can be examples to children even though they are not physically present. Stories can give encouragement, teach truths, and help create a family narrative that can be shared and passed down for generations to come. Stories can be told spontaneously while driving, while working together, or at meal time or bedtime. There are always opportunities that come up unexpectedly, and we have to be ready and know the stories before those opportunities arise. There are also times that we can plan to share a story such as family time, family dinner or a gathering. Setting up a time for an extended family member to share stories would give others the opportunity to be involved as well.

Ways to share stories:

Verbal

Tell people what you learn about your ancestors.
Use family history stories for projects, papers, talks, and presentations at school, church, or work.

Social Media

Share what you learn on your social media accounts.
Attach stories to your online family tree.

Books

Create a book and make copies to share with relatives.

Blog

Create a family history blog and share your findings.

Podcasts

Create a podcast so family members can listen to family stories on their devices.
Many people have more time to listen than read in our fast-paced world.

“A life that is not documented is a life that within a generation or two will largely be lost to memory.… Knowledge of our ancestors shapes and instills within us values that give direction and meaning to our lives.”

— Dennis B. Neuenschwander

Interviewing relatives will help stories of our loved ones be remembered and used to bless our posterity. Finding stories is not just limited to asking relatives. You can ask questions to anyone who knew your ancestors while they were alive. Time spent interviewing grandparents or any family member is a beautiful and bonding experience that will create cherished memories for everyone involved. There is so much information and so many stories you can learn from them. Once they pass away, questions that would have been so easy to ask cannot be answered or will take much longer to be answered. The sooner you can do the interview the better because as people get older they may become forgetful or pass away before you get the chance to ask questions.

To prepare for the interview, contact the person who will be interviewed. Set up a day and time so both participants can be mentally prepared. This will also help ensure that the interviewee is not caught off guard and distracted when you begin asking questions. Follow-up questions are easier to do spontaneously but for the first interview it is best to prepare. I have found that when I ask family members if I can interview them, they may be hesitant because they are uncertain of what it entails. You can explain to them that it is not something to be intimidated by. It will be a discussion consisting of you asking them questions and listening because you want to learn about them and their life. Your relatives will most likely be flattered and become more comfortable as the interview goes on. Most people I have interviewed are slightly uncertain when beginning an interview, but they get comfortable reflecting on their past and sharing it with someone who genuinely cares and is listening attentively.

The second step is making a list of questions. If children will be doing the interview, encourage them to think about what they already know about the family member they will interview. They may already have questions regarding something they once heard their family member say or something they heard another family member mention. Then have them brainstorm topics they do not know about but would like to know more about. The more they think about and choose questions themselves, the more personal the interview will be. I have provided question ideas at the end of this section. Children should have their list of questions in hand for the interview so they can refer to it.

The third step is deciding how to record the interview. Interviews done in person, by video chat, over the phone or even through email or regular mail accomplish the goal of recording stories. However, in-person interviews are the best option because there is so much communicated through body language and there can be a video of the family member for posterity. Everyone who sees the interview, even after the family member has passed away, will see his or her mannerisms, facial expressions and body language, which is priceless to have and will help viewers get to know their ancestor in a personal way despite the separation of death. There are two challenges I have faced with video recording. The first is having enough space on your recording device. Be prepared and make sure you have enough space ahead of time. The second challenge is some people do not like being recorded. Explaining why you want to do a recording may be helpful and they will be more likely to say yes. If not, then ask for permission to video record a small portion of the interview (for example, anecdotes about meeting his or her spouse) and simply audio record or email questions and answers for the rest of the interview. There are apps and digital recorders available that will help with audio recording. If the interview cannot be done in person, chatting over video or phone are the next best options. Apps are available that allow a phone call to be recorded. Other alternatives are to have the phone or device on speaker and use another device to record or type or write the response. Email or regular mail is another possibility if visual or audio recordings are not an option or if they are not preferred by the interviewee. Questions can be sent and the relative will have time to think about them and respond. This also may be a good option for family members who do not like to talk much. Some people will give very short answers verbally but if sent an email with questions would answer with lengthy, detailed responses.

Consider giving a list of questions in advance. Your relative can begin thinking ahead of time and remember more details. However, their responses will not be as candid. When deciding what interview method to use, consider all of these options and think about what would be most comfortable for you and the person you are interviewing and choose accordingly.

With an appointment made, a list of questions compiled and a method of recording chosen, you are almost ready for the interview. Here are some tips for you to remember that will help the interview to be a better experience for all involved:

- LISTEN. Look your relatives in the eyes and be attentive. Try not to interrupt them. If you find yourself getting tired or notice they are getting tired, continue the interview later when you both can be alert and more engaged. When there is a lull in the conversation, do not be too quick to jump to another question. Sometimes a lull means they are deep in thought and remembering things that they are about to share. Reading their facial expressions will help determine if it's time to move on to another question or if they are ready to share more. If you are uncertain, ask a question such as, "Do you have anything else to share about that?” or “Would you like to move on to the next question?” or “Do you want to share what is on your mind?”

- BE SENSITIVE. If there is a topic the interviewees do not want to discuss, move on to something else. They may be willing to share something that they do not want to be recorded. That is okay. Be respectful of their wishes. Turn the recorder off, then turn it back on when they are finished with that sensitive topic.

- COMMUNICATE INTENTIONS. Tell the interviewees whom you plan to share their story with and when. They may want it shared immediately or they may want it shared after they pass away. I learned this the hard way. My grandpa was still alive when I shared his story with family members. There were some parts in his story that I did not consider offensive but other family members were offended by and communicated that to him. I was saddened that he had a negative experience resulting from sharing his life story with me. From this experience I learned the importance of offering to have the interviewees read over the written interview to make sure they are 100 percent okay with it being shared. They can make edits by adding, changing or taking away from their story. If they ask to hold off on sharing it until they pass away, respect that.

- TIME. Interviews will be different lengths depending on who is doing the interview and who is being interviewed. If the interviewer is an older child, there may be more than one interview because there are so many questions to ask and a whole life story to tell. I have felt that about an hour, with a possible break after the first 30 minutes, is a good amount of time for one sitting. This guideline is flexible though. If the interviewee is really into it and you are not too tired, then you can go longer. But pay attention to the interviewee and try to be aware of how long he or she can handle for one sitting. The interview can be finished another time if it gets too long. That is okay. Even if a shorter interview was planned, there may be follow-up questions you have or information that the interviewee wants to add later.

- NOTEPAD. Carry a notepad to write down additional questions you may think of during the interview. This will help prevent interrupting their train of thought or forgetting the question. You can write it down and come back to it later. It is difficult to remember questions without writing them down because you will be listening to responses. You can also ask for and write down spellings of names of individuals they mention so they can be recorded accurately.

Now you are ready for the interview!

The Starting Question: All you need is one question to start. If you are doing an interview to record a life story, the most fitting first question is usually one of the following:

Can you tell me what you know about your name?
Do you know anything about when you were born?

From there, the interview will most likely flow and the interviewee will talk about his or her earliest memories or family. But if the interviewee does not keep talking, have more questions ready. If it will be a shorter interview, then begin with the question you’re most curious about. Creating a list of the top ten questions you want to ask may help too.

Young Child Alternative: Any child that can talk and ask questions can come up with a question and do a short interview. He or she can even draw the answer if they cannot write. My young children have done interviews to find out relatives’ favorite things. They did it by titling their paper “Grandpa’s Favorites.” They divided the paper into boxes and wrote a label in each box, such as “Food,” “Game,” “Song,” and other categories. They called their grandpa on the phone and quickly asked each favorite and wrote a one-word answer in each square. This was a great interview. They learned so much about their grandpa and even noticed that they had some of the same favorite things.

Following Up: You may not have had time to ask all of the questions you had planned or you may have thought of more questions afterwards. If this is the case, a follow-up interview may be the next step.

After the Interview: With the interview completed you may choose to leave it in video or audio form or transcribe it to written form yourself or by hiring someone. Once it is in written form you may decide to send it to the interviewee to add, change, or edit their story.

Although the interview process can take a lot of effort and time, it is worth it. By interviewing members of your family, the life experiences and wisdom of your family members will not be forgotten. The stories you hear and collect help keep their memory alive for generations to come. As Steve Rockwood said, it is our responsibility to “make sure no one is forgotten because everyone deserves to be remembered” (Keynote address, RootsTech, 28 Feb. 2018).

List of Question Ideas:

What do you know about where and when you were born?

Can you tell me about your parents? Your grandparents? Your great-grandparents?Your siblings? What impressed you most about them? What were their strengths and weaknesses? What do you remember most about them? What did you learn from them?

What is your first memory?

How was your relationship with your siblings when you were young? Did it change as you grew up?

What was your favorite toy, game, place to go, thing to do?

What chores did you do?

What hardships did your family face? How were they handled?

How did you feel about school?

What was your favorite subject in school?

Were you involved in extracurricular activities at school? What were they?

Who were your closest friends? What memories do you have with them? What adventures did you have? What did you do together?

What holidays did your family celebrate and how were they celebrated?

What was your favorite holiday and why?

What did you do with your parents?

Was there a time when you remember learning a specific life lesson? How did you learn it?

What are your strengths and weaknesses?

Can you tell me about your first job?

What was the highest level of education that you received?

If you went to college, what college and what did you study?

Why did you choose the job or career that you chose?

What experiences have you had helping others or others helping you?

What religion were you raised in?

What religion are you now?

What do you believe?

How did you meet your spouse?

How did you decide to marry her or him?

What impressed you about your spouse while you were dating?

Can you tell me about some of your dates together?

Can you tell me about your wedding?

How were your early years of marriage?

When did children come along? What was that like?

What do you remember about raising each of your children?

Do you have any favorite memories with each of your children?

If you could give your children or grandchildren advice, what would it be?

What service opportunities have you had?

What hobbies have you had throughout your life?

What have been the biggest challenges you have faced in your life? What have you learned from them?

How have you overcome challenges in your life?

How have you overcome doubt?

Who is someone that you have looked up to? Why?

What is your favorite band (singer), song, and/or style of music?

When have been the happiest times of your life?

What are some of your favorite foods?

Who was the most influential person in your life?

Tell me about your hometown.

Tell me about a favorite family recipe.

Use photos and ask for details or the story behind it.

Do you remember doing ____? Tell me about it.

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